Bob Noble, Shepperton Aurora Rotary Club
Dealing with bereavement has had to take a very different path during the pandemic.
Loved ones have often been unable to be with the person who is dying or, possibly more importantly, be with other members of the close family who would normally provide strength and support at such a difficult time.
The amazing care staff in the NHS and Care Homes have given to support people at their point of dying has been extremely humbling, but the added emotional trauma caused to family members by being kept away from each other at this critical time is yet to be un-derstood.
With the total number of deaths in the UK still continuing to rise, millions throughout the country under lockdown must be feeling the immense pain of loss. Many of these deaths will undoubtedly have been unex-pected, adding to the feeling of stress.
There’s no easy way to get over the death of someone close to you, but, pre Covid, individ-uals could at least take work leave to grieve, spend time with friends and family and gain comfort from just being in the company of others to talk and work through their feelings of anger, despair and emptiness.
Even having a funeral, an important milestone when dealing with grief, has had to change. This can add to the sadness when we cannot properly celebrate a loved ones life with a ceremony and wake. For many families who, since March last year, have had restricted funerals there was always the hope they could have a big memorial celebration later with a large gathering – even that hasn’t happened and we are now over a year on.
When those coping with bereavement cannot get physical support from loved ones, a cud-dle, hold a hand, sit close and talk through their fears and sense of loneliness, the pain of loss can be ever the greater.
Most of us are still able to cope with calls from family and friends. A minority of people may need more support from counseling ser-vices which they can be referred to via their GP or they can seek help directly through organisations such as CRUSE or Marie Curie. Ironically we would expect these organisa-tions to have been inundated at this time, but in fact anecdotally, they have told us that they have had been receiving less calls during the pandemic period than normal.
Some of the Shepperton Aurora Rotary Club have been affected by grief during the pan-demic and wish to encourage those dealing with bereavement to access help through local organisations. The club is keen to let residents know there is valuable support out there for those who would like it.
Through talking to such organisations that offer help, they have all identified two things to us. Firstly, they continue to offer a support over the phone and have trained individuals who can help those coping with struggling with bereavement and, secondly, they have spare capacity.
Some of them also offer group meetings – unfortunately only through Zoom at the mo-ment – but soon, hopefully they intend to re-turn to their other support activities such as café meetings, ‘walks and talks’ and one-to-one or live group sessions.
There is undoubted concern by both the Gov-ernment, schools and the medical profession that demand for emotional support for what-ever reasons, but particularly bereavement, will increase substantially as we slowly come out of lockdown.
Shepperton Aurora Rotary Club wish to en-courage those who might be too frightened cautious or lost in their grief to pick up the phone and make the first step towards getting some support from organisations who offer it locally. They will also be providing funds to assist the organisations to undertake their val-uable work.
You can contact our local CRUSE on 01932 571177 (cruse.org.uk), Princess Alice Hos-pice on 01372 468811 (pah.org.uk), Marie Curie on 0800 090 2309 (mariecurie.org.uk) or visit our website sheppertonaurora.co.uk for further information or help.