By Monica Chard
This year more than any has been a challenge for most of us: job uncertainty, financial worries, ill-ness and death, family tensions, isolation and lone-liness to name but a few. Without going into detail, I have been through rather a lot of challenges my-self. But I find myself looking at this year with a sort of affection. Despite challenges, I have much to be grateful for. Resilience is about finding the glass half full, not half empty. We have a choice and we can change the effect that much negativity can have on us.
I recently attended a talk on Zoom called “Practical Resilience in Difficult Times” which was put on by the Action for Happiness group, featured last month. I was amazed to find that I was one of 2000 from all over the world joining this webinar. Dr Chris Johnstone who gave the talk has a back-ground in medicine and psychology and is a specialist trainer in resilience and well being. He has written several books (Find Your Power, Seven Ways to Build Resilience”). He talked about resilience as “finding a bet-ter conclusion when you are in a bad place”, finding and referred to the challenges in life as being “informative dips” ie, what good can come out of this situation? What can I learn?
It is all too easy (as well as natural) to find oneself feeling low, beaten and negative when facing our own challenges. But what if you focus on what you CAN do, not what you can’t? Focus on what you HAVE got, not on what has eluded you. Focus on what you can CHANGE, rather than concentrating on what you wish you had got.
In terms of how to deal with those “downs” everyone has a different way. It may be walking, cuddling a pet, having a hug (if you are lucky enough to have a bubble with al-lows you to), gardening, nature, running, music or crafting, as a few examples. So many of these relate to the outdoors. During Lockdown 1 the appreciation of nature, birds and flowers was so evident. Sales of bird food rocketed in the local shops. I spent many hours watching blue tits coming and going in our bird box. Remember too that when you are in a bad place, things will change. Think of a time you were in a bad place, dealing with a nega-tive situation. How did you cope? You did find a way out. As the adages say “This too shall pass”, “All shall be well”.
In these times of Covid we have experienced a collective resilience in the way the community has come together. We have supported each other, gone out of our way to help those who are vulnera-ble, met people we may never have met before had circumstances been different. It gives us much to be grateful for.
So, Christmas will indeed be different for us this year but if you concentrate on what you can do and make sure you enjoy it, you can make it work for you.
Chris Johnstone also provides some useful pointers on the website resiliencetraining.net where you can find resilience tools in a time of crisis.